In Sync with Life

“This world is full of conflicts and

full of things that cannot be reconciled.

But there are moments when we can…

reconcile and embrace the whole mess,

and that’s what I mean by ‘Hallelujah.'”

— Leonard Cohen

Did you take music lessons as a child? My piano teacher used a metronome to help me keep time. But the ticking sound often made me nervous and self-conscious, and I would fall out of sync. In fact the more I worried about getting it right, the worse I seemed to play.

Thinking back I wonder what would have helped me stop trying so hard and let the rhythm simply move through me? What if I had let the music play me rather than the other way around? Over the years, I've learned that's really the only way to be in sync not only with music, but with everything else in life too.

A research study in physics (using metronomes, no less!) aptly demonstrates this phenomenon. These Japanese researchers placed 32 metronomes on a platform and started them ticking randomly. After several minutes, they all became synchronized. It looks like magic in the video, but the metronomes were not on a static platform. That would have caused friction and kept them from aligning. Instead the platform had rollers underneath it. This allowed it to move laterally, and in turn, allowed the subtle forces created by the ticking metronomes to eventually synchronize.

 What does this have to do with coaching? Coaching is like that gently moving platform: Through "subtle forces" (that is, evocative questions and conversation), the coaching process moves what we may experience as disjointed -- mentally, emotionally and physically -- towards alignment.  This doesn't mean that conflicts and contradictions no longer exist. But we will have more moments when we can "reconcile and embrace the whole mess," as Leonard Cohen cogently said.

 At those times, instead of feeling like we have dozens of metronomes ticking at different tempos inside us or that our "platform" is stuck in rigid patterns of thinking, we can learn to move in concert with ourselves and others with less effort. This in turn means our actions will be more aligned with who we are and what is needed to effectively respond -- no matter what the situation may be. In short, we'll be able to live more in sync with the music  -- and with life. Hallelujah!

 Want to explore how to synchronize your own "metronomes"? How to stop working so hard to get it "right," and instead let the music play you? I would be delighted to partner with you on this path. Please set up a free “discovery session” with me today!

— written and published by Elise Miller - June 1, 2022