The Myth of Balance
Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.
— Jana Kingsford
Have you ever said to yourself, “I’m going to find more balance in my life”? Haven’t we all? We imagine what a wonderfully balanced work day or week would look like. We’re going to take more breaks, have time for exercise, eat healthy lunches (not at our desk) and no longer work late into the evening.
And then life happens. Our computer crashes in the middle of a presentation, there’s a discrepancy in the budget we didn’t notice before, the guy who is to fix the printer doesn’t show, the power suddenly goes out, a critical package doesn’t arrive, our child unexpectedly needs to be picked up at school, or worse, one of our staff tests positive for COVID. Instead of feeling balanced, we feel overwhelmed and frazzled. By the end of the day we realize we didn’t go for a walk or eat lunch or take even a few deep breaths like we promised ourselves (again).
So...what if our concept of balance is off the mark? What if balance feels so allusive because we think it’s solely about changing our external reality (which is mostly out of our control), rather than our internal experience (mostly in our control)?
Think for a moment about watching someone balancing on a unicycle. You’ll notice they’re always in motion making subtle adjustments to their body in response to gravity and other forces. For them staying in balance isn’t some static goal, but a kind of kinetic practice that requires consistent attention. The same is true in our lives in general. Balance can’t be prescribed. Nor can we just find balance and say, “We’ve got it now. We’re done.” Instead we need to rediscover it internally moment after moment after moment in response to constantly changing circumstances. Yes, it’s important to set intentions and priorities, but ultimately we can’t will balance to happen. We have to let it emerge from quieter place inside us.
The poet T.S. Eliot beautifully captures this insight in “Burnt Norton,” the first of the Four Quartets. He asserts there is “the still point of the turning world” but we shouldn’t mistake it for “fixity.” Instead he suggests, “Except for the point, the still point, there would be no dance, and there is only the dance.” In other words, the still point (that is also ever-shifting, like the person riding the unicycle) is in fact what animates everything. If we don’t have access to that still point within ourselves, then we aren’t able to fully dance with life. So how do we tap into that still point?
Figuring out what works for us isn’t always easy. That’s where professional coaching can truly serve you. You don’t have to keep falling off your unicycle to try to salvage the day you planned. Instead, you can develop a more creative and balanced response to whatever happens — one that inspires others to experience more balance in their lives too.
Set up a free “discovery session” today. Let’s explore what ‘balance’ means for you and how you can create more of it!
— written and published by Elise Miller March 1, 2022