What Is “Authenticity” Anyway?
Authenticity is a collection of choices we have to make every day….
— Brené Brown
Have you ever felt confused by what “authenticity” means? I sure have. The prevailing Western view is that authenticity is something static and unchanging — something that is uniquely “you” over time. People are often judged for being inauthentic or not "themselves” if they express ambivalence or modify their perspectives on an issue or show up differently in different contexts.
Growing up I figured if this were the case, then I would just work to uncover who I really was. When I did, I could point to it and say, “that’s me”. But what I found confounding was my inner experiences and perspectives were always shifting and morphing. If I expressed, say, my "worried, anxious" self — was that my “true” self? Or was my "business suit-wearing, laser point-holding, speech-giving” self the real me? Or how about my "mud-covered, trail-running, holder-of-freshly-gathered-chanterelle-mushrooms" self? Or what if I contradicted my previous stance on a topic? Did that mean I was doomed to be inauthentic? Whew. What was authentically “me”?
More than three decades ago, I got an insight into this question when I did my graduate research with teenage girls in northern India. I was trying to understand how their experience of “self" influenced their sense of choice about opportunities in their lives.
What I learned from these girls was their concept of self was inherently interconnected to everyone and everything else. They thought of themselves more as a “we” than an “I.” They didn’t seem to have the same yearning to figure out who they were as individuals because being sensitive and adaptive to changing circumstances was far more important in their culture than being defined as an individual no matter what the circumstances.
Of course being enmeshed in a net of relationships that doesn’t allow for any individual choice can be as psychologically constricting as needing to be an unchanging self. So what do we make of this? Particularly as leaders of organizations. Aren’t leaders supposed to be decisive, clear and directive?
Over the years I’ve come to conceive of authenticity differently. Like with “balance" that I described in my last blog, I see authenticity as more of a moment in time — an expression of ourselves generated from inside of us yet always changing in relationship to shifts in our inner and outer worlds. It means we have the freedom to choose how we express ourselves in any moment, but it’s only authentic if it stems from our honest, embodied experience at the time.
When we become more attuned to what drives us and influences our decisions, then we can make wiser, healthier choices about what is most meaningful, fulfilling, and yes, authentic for us as we evolve. In turn this requires us to be vulnerable and identify and release old patterns that no longer are helpful or constructive in order for us to grow as authentic leaders.
If you’re interested in exploring what authenticity means in your own life, I would be delighted to partner with you. Set up a free “discovery session” today!
— written and published by Elise Miller April 1, 2022