What Went Right?
Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It takes guts.
— Pema Chödrön
As a nonprofit leader, you may be fretting over whether you’ll meet your end-of-year fundraising goals. Or ruminating on the things you wanted to achieve this past year and didn't. Or feeling stretched so thin you wonder whether you have it in you to meet the inevitable challenges of 2023.
During the many years I ran nonprofits, I was often steeped in these worries around this time of year. But I have learned that you don’t have to be. Instead, you can take a pause...a breath…and ask yourself, “What went right?”
Now take 10 minutes to write down at least 3-5 specific things you feel most proud of accomplishing in 2022. Even consider things that aren’t typically seen as achievements — maybe actions others might think as ordinary, but for you felt extraordinary, a break through of some kind. (For example, think of a time when you managed to catch yourself before you reacted angrily to a situation, and instead, listened and then responded in a way that led to a much more positive outcome for everyone involved — yes, that is something of note!). Next, read those out loud to yourself or to a colleague, partner or friend. Notice how your body feels. How your mind and heart feel.
**By the way, I highly recommend this not only for nonprofit leaders, but for anyone reading this blog, whether you’re in business, a parent or retired!**
Then take another minute or two to relish the magnitude of all that you navigated in the context of an ongoing pandemic, climate change, racial and social inequities and political polarization, not to mention various health stressors and familial upheavals or losses you may have had to handle as well. If you were really fortunate, you only had to chuck Plans A, B, C & D. And when things changed again, you figured out how to pivot. You created new approaches and programs. You made mistakes — and learned from them. You were resilient, flexible, courageous and so much more. Hats off to you!
This exercise can be particularly transformative over time because our human brains are wired with a “negativity bias.” Early in our evolution, we learned to focus our attention on potential threats in order to survive and protect ourselves and our families. That instinct is still of course very useful in situations where we need to act quickly to get out of harm’s way. But in our modern era, we are still biased to look primarily for what could go wrong — more than necessary in most circumstances — rather than for what is going right. By doing this, we tend to minimize the small successes and interactions that give life meaning and vivacity.
So pause…breathe...take a moment to reclaim your equilibrium and perspective. Recognize what you have managed to manifest in the midst of exceptional uncertainty and constant change. Marvel at yourself and others for doing so remarkably well in these unprecedented circumstances.
It’s important to note that this in no way discounts the chronic headaches and profound heartaches you may have experienced. Those are very real too. But asking yourself “what went right?" on a daily basis “takes guts,” as Pema Chödrön put it. It’s easier to worry, blame, criticize and react than to “rejoice in ordinary things.”
In this way, all of us can learn to offset our negativity bias and amplify our sense of appreciation for the moments of goodness, wonder and inspiration in our lives. And the more gratitude we feel, the more energy and clarity we have to address whatever the New Year may bring. Grant yourself this gift during the holiday season — and into 2023. You may be surprised by the difference this practice can make in your well-being!
Heartfelt wishes for a healthy, safe and wonder-filled holiday season.
May you and yours rejoice in a multitude of ordinary things!
— written and published by Elise Miller, Cedar Wise Coaching LCC, December 1, 2022